#65 - A Simple Trick to Make Your Words More Impactful

And yes, you heard that right.

The Communication Mentor Podcast.

My name is Chris Miller, your host, former host of the Talk to People Podcast, and the new host of the Communication Mentor Podcast.

This podcast exists to provide actionable and practical tips to help you grow in your communication so that you can speak more confidently, clearly, and live a fuller life with a better career.

Today, I'm going to show you a practical tip that will let you speak more articulately, but also let your words have more impact.

This is going to be a two-step structure, so I encourage you to stick around to the end so that not only do you get the cause, but you also get the effect.

I'll be sure to keep it less than 15 minutes so that this can be bite-sized, digestible, and you can also re-listen to it whenever you are on a walk, workout, or commute.

First, I want to start with a story.

This year, I watched a documentary called Quiet On Set, which was an exposé over some of the earliest and biggest shows on Nickelodeon.

There was a recurring character in this show called Dan Schneider, and Dan Schneider was a very big producer.

But as we go throughout the show, we see how he was involved and associated with things that not only weren't good, but put a lot of people into really unhealthy situations.

Dan Schneider went on after the documentary was released, and he decided to release a public apology video.

But there was something special about this public apology video, because it wasn't just him on the camera.

Rather, there was two people, and it was actually a conversation.

And it turns out that the other person he was talking to was a former employee of his.

And as the conversation started, it became clear that there was a evident and pre-planned agenda.

The person who was interviewing them had cue cards.

He had a set list of questions.

Dan immediately answered the questions, which communicated to everybody watching that they had gone over and cleared the questions.

Not only that, but it wasn't just an apology.

Dan spent a lot of this time defending his actions.

He spent a lot of the time justifying his actions.

And he also spent a lot of the time trying to add a new perspective, rather than taking responsibility, blame, or expressing empathy.

One of the big reasons why this apology went south, and I'm not the only one who thinks that, you can go online and watch the countless YouTube reviews.

You could even watch mine on the Talk to Chris Miller YouTube channel.

One reason why this wasn't a well-received effective apology was because he was simply doing too much.

Something that Dan didn't have was a clear goal and a purpose, which is the premise of this lesson.

You must have a goal and a purpose every time you're giving a big speech, every time you're entering a hard conversation, every time you're about to have a meaningful discussion.

Let's go through some common goals.

Goal number one, to inform.

Number two, to entertain.

Number three, to persuade.

Number four, facilitate.

Number five, narrate.

Number six, reflect.

We could go on.

I created a list of these goals.

I put it in the podcast description, so you can also go and look through some of these goals.

For Instruct, your goal would be to provide information or teach the audience how to do something new.

So you would need to be detailed.

You would need to give clear instructions.

You would need to give steps.

And you'd also want to potentially include demonstrations or visual aids so that people can enhance their understanding.

If you're facilitating a conversation, then you're going to want to do this a bit differently.

Rather than instructing, you're going to want to let other people speak.

You want your voice to be the 5% and their voice to be the 95%.

Yet you also have to ensure neutrality.

A great facilitator approaches things quite objectively.

Rather than taking a certain side, a great facilitator gives platforms so that they can let other people speak.

Another really good thing a facilitator has is a immense skill in asking open-ended questions.

Or is your purpose to entertain?

When we think about entertainers, you may think about someone who is on the big stage with the big lights, and everybody cheering, and yes, they are entertaining.

But it isn't always on Broadway and it's not always the arena shows.

Rather, this could be with your coworkers, with your family, with your friends.

Sometimes, the best thing we can do is to give other people a good time to make them laugh, to make them smile.

So what's important here is holding the audience's attention and being able to provide enjoyment.

Or you could inspire, you could motivate your audience to feel differently, or to take action in their lives.

This would involve stirring emotions, and it would include sharing personal stories, sharing inspiring, almost a new paradigm for your audience to think through.

You could also share visions of the future, something that they hadn't even considered, or shared ideals, something that you all have in common.

All of these are different goals that you could have going into a talk.

But many of us enter conversations, speeches, demonstrations.

You can really plug and play whatever you're going to here without thinking, what is the purpose of this?

We have to have a goal.

Our goal is our target.

Whenever we do well, then we're going to reach our goal.

But then we also have to answer the question.

Once we answer the question, what?

We have to answer the question, why?

The why is the purpose.

The goal answers the what.

The purpose answers the why.

The reason why the why is so important is because whenever you have purpose behind your words, you are going to be less likely to renege or to not stick with what you're saying.

And you're also going to be more likely to finish, to be self-assured, and to feel confident in what you're saying.

For instance, the instructor, their purpose in teaching a workshop may be because they have valuable skills themselves that can help others excel in their careers, in the classroom, in their personal lives, maybe online.

The person who's facilitating their why or their purpose, maybe because they believe diverse opinions will lead to better and more inclusive decisions.

The person who's entertaining, maybe it's because, simply, they want to make money.

But more than that, most of the people who commit their lives to entertainment, it's not about the money.

Rather, they are addicted.

They love brightening someone's day and making them smile.

That's where they get their psychic income.

So once you select your goal, what you want to do with your speech, with your conversation, with your phone call, your presentation, and then you select your why, your purpose behind the reason you're doing it, you've unlocked a superpower.

The reason why I consider this a superpower is because most people aren't thinking about it.

And one of the golden rules that we know about any type of communication is preparation will make you an outlier.

The more you prepare, the more you are talking about things you know about, then the better you're going to be able to talk about it.

It is a irrefutable, unequivocal, what other words can I think of that provide absolute certainty?

What other words can I think of to make you feel more compelled to just take a few minutes and reflect on, one, what's my goal?

How will I know this is a win?

And two, why am I doing this?

Why am I walking to my boss's desk to ask this question?

Seriously, I need to stop to remind myself to have a purpose.

So let me give you some practical examples of how you could implement this one tool to help you become a better communicator and to live a fuller life.

Because once you know your goal, then you can judge whether or not you hit your target.

And the best way to hit a target is to have a target.

So some common goals that you can have that we mentioned at the beginning of this podcast episode was to inform, persuade, entertain, and introduce.

Practically, you are looking at the reason why I'm giving this presentation to inform because you know things that they may not know, and if they have that knowledge, then the world will be a better place.

Or you're wanting to persuade someone to invest in your company because the more money you have in your operational budget, then the more free time you'll have to spend with your family.

Last one is if you want to entertain, the reason why is because you've noticed that the higher the morale is at your workplace, the more you enjoy being there.

And the more you enjoy being there, the less likely you are to burn out, spend more time at home feeling a bit depressed, down, and melancholy because you don't enjoy your job.

And we can avoid that by intentionally making the decision that we want to raise the morale at our workplace.

With 11 days left in his presidency, Barack Obama gave a speech to a packed house in Chicago at this large venue called the McCormick Place.

It was the same place he gave his re-election speech in 2012, and it was four miles away from where he gave his victory speech in 2008.

But what made this speech so special was at the very beginning he laid out his purpose.

He said, My purpose is to speak to those who throughout this presidency, we've been close, but I also want to speak to those who we haven't seen eye to eye.

And ultimately, I want to say thank you.

Thank you for your support, and thank you for all that you are doing to make this country a great place.

And his last 90 seconds of this speech was one of the best call to actions I've ever seen given in any large platform speech.

And he said, I have one ask for you.

He made it simple.

He made it clear.

And he made it unique.

My one ask for you is to believe not in me as the president, because I'm about to leave and you're about to get a new president, a president that a lot of people didn't like.

And in the moment, there was a lot of political contention.

And he said, I'm not asking you to believe in me.

I'm asking you to believe in yourself, because when you have that self belief, you are more likely to actually make a difference in the world and ultimately make it a better place for all of us.

He started that speech with a specific purpose.

And he killed it.

The call to action not only gave empowerment and confidence to his audience, yet it ran full circle into his purpose that he expressed at the very beginning of the speech.

And now I want to give you the confidence to be intentional about what comes out of your mouth.

Speak with precision and know why you're doing it, because there's no better feeling than setting up a target and hitting a bullseye.

And that's what I have for you today.

If you got value out of this episode, could you do me a favor and share it?

The only way this podcast grows is by other people learning about it.

And knowing that it adds value, you can share it on Instagram, you can tag at Communication Mentor Pod or at Talk to Chris Miller, and I'll be sure to share that.

I'm going to leave you how I'll leave every podcast, and that life is better when you talk to people, and remember, your words have power.